How to Help Your Child Calm Down

How to work on calming down/coping strategies with your child when they are upset or angry

  • Read the social story with your child daily when they are calm and happy.  
  • When your child gets upset, show the pictures of what they should do and calmly talk them through it using short, simple language.  For example, I see that you feel upset or mad. It’s time to take a break.
  • Help your child move to a quiet, safe spot in your house.  This could be a spot in their room with blankets and pillows or another spot you choose.  Make sure it is the same spot, “break” they go to when they are upset. Make it cozy and inviting.
  • When you get them to their break spot, show them the pictures of taking deep breaths and breathe with them.  Keep breathing if it is helping to calm them down. This may take awhile and doesn’t always work in the beginning.  It will take lots of practice for children to be able to do this on their own or even with help.  
  • Try counting, breathing, walking away and let your child calm down slowly.  If listening to music or sitting with a favorite toy helps, try that. Try not to use electronics to calm your child down, as this is not helping them learn to regulate their bodies on their own.  
  • When they are calm, praise them on what a good job they did calming their body even if it takes awhile.  Have break pictures available around the house to grab when they are upset.
  • Remember to practice this often and read the story daily.  



Example of a calm down area in a classroom setting.  The drawers are filled with different types of sensory objects for the child to choose to help them calm down if they are ready for that.  

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